Blended families are now the norm rather than the exception. Second marriages, long-term de facto relationships, adult children from previous relationships, stepchildren and informal family arrangements are all common. From an estate planning perspective, they are also where things most often go wrong.
Many estate disputes do not arise because someone failed to make a Will. They arise because a Will was made without fully grappling with competing relationships, shifting expectations, and the way the law approaches “fairness” after death. This article looks at why blended families present unique estate planning risks, and how those risks are typically managed in specialist practice.
Why blended families are different
In a traditional nuclear family, estate planning can be relatively straightforward. In blended families, there are usually multiple, overlapping moral claims on the estate.
For example:
a surviving spouse may expect security and continuity of lifestyle,
adult children from a first relationship may expect to inherit family wealth,
stepchildren may assume they will be treated as children despite having no automatic legal entitlement, and
former spouses may still have unresolved financial arrangements.
These expectations often sit in tension with one another. A Will that satisfies one group can easily disappoint another. The law does not try to make everyone happy, but it does step in where it considers that adequate provision has not been made.
The risk of “simple” solutions
One of the most common mistakes in blended family estate planning is relying on a solution that feels simple and intuitive, but fails under legal scrutiny.
Examples include:
leaving everything to the surviving spouse with the expectation they will “do the right thing” later,
excluding adult children on the assumption they are financially independent,
treating stepchildren as if they have the same legal standing as biological children, or
assuming that equal treatment is always fair treatment.
In practice, these approaches often create uncertainty and, in some cases, litigation.
Leaving everything to the surviving spouse
This is perhaps the most common approach, particularly in second marriages. It is also one of the riskiest.
From a legal perspective, once assets pass outright to the surviving spouse:
they are no longer part of the deceased’s estate,
they can be redirected by a new Will,
they can be affected by remarriage, bankruptcy or relationship breakdown, and
they may never reach the deceased’s children.
Adult children frequently bring claims in these circumstances, particularly where the estate represents wealth accumulated before the second relationship or includes family property.
Life interests and right-to-reside arrangements
Life interests and rights of residence are often used to balance competing interests. The idea is to allow a surviving spouse to live in a property or receive income for life, with capital preserved for children.
When drafted thoroughly by a specialist estate lawyer, these structures can work. When drafted poorly, they can become unworkable.
Common issues include:
disputes over maintenance and outgoings,
disagreements about when a life interest should end,
restrictions that prevent downsizing or sale, and
tension between life tenants and remainder beneficiaries.
These arrangements require careful drafting and a realistic assessment of how the parties are likely to interact over time.
Testamentary discretionary trusts as a balancing tool
In many blended family estates, testamentary discretionary trusts provide a more flexible solution than rigid entitlements.
Used properly, they can:
allow income and capital to be applied where needed,
provide housing or financial support to a spouse without transferring full ownership,
preserve capital for children over time, and
respond to changing circumstances rather than locking in outcomes.
However, the effectiveness of a testamentary trust depends heavily on control. Who acts as trustee, who holds appointor powers, and how those roles change over time often matter more than the list of beneficiaries. These are complex structures which require careful consideration, and specialist estate planning advice.
Stepchildren and expectations
Stepchildren are frequently surprised to learn that they do not automatically have the same standing as biological or adopted children. Unless they were dependent on the deceased, stepchildren are not entitled to inherit under intestacy rules and may not be eligible to bring a family provision claim.
That does not mean they should be ignored in planning. It does mean that expectations need to be managed clearly and deliberately. Ambiguity in this area is a common source of dispute.
Adult children and claims
Adult children are often the source of family provision claims in blended family estates. Contrary to popular belief, adult children can and do succeed in claims, particularly where:
they have limited financial resources,
there is a significant disparity between beneficiaries,
they contributed to the deceased’s welfare or assets, or
the estate reflects wealth accumulated before a second relationship.
Courts do not start from the premise that adult children should be excluded. They assess need, relationship, and the overall estate context.
The role of superannuation
Superannuation often complicates blended family planning further.
Binding nominations in favour of a spouse can result in significant assets bypassing the estate entirely. Conversely, directing super into the estate can expose it to competing claims.
In blended families, superannuation decisions should rarely be made in isolation. They need to align with the broader estate plan and the realities of likely claims.
Promises, assumptions and informal understandings
Many disputes arise from informal assurances given during life:
“The house will always be yours.”
“The kids will get it all eventually.”
“Everyone will be looked after.”
Courts place limited weight on informal promises unless they are reflected in formal arrangements. When expectations built over years collide with a Will that says something different, conflict is almost inevitable.
Clear communication and careful documentation during life reduce this risk significantly.
Why fairness looks different after death
One of the hardest things for families to accept is that fairness in estate law does not mean equality.
Courts consider:
need rather than entitlement,
dependency rather than lineage, and
present circumstances rather than past grievances.
This often produces outcomes that surprise beneficiaries. Understanding this reality is critical when planning in blended family situations.
Planning with disputes in mind
Specialist estate planning for blended families is not about eliminating all risk. That is rarely possible. It is about:
identifying likely pressure points,
structuring assets to manage competing claims,
choosing control mechanisms carefully, and
reducing the scope for misunderstanding.
In many cases, a plan that looks less “clean” on paper is more robust in practice.
Reviewing and updating over time
Blended family dynamics change. Relationships evolve. Children grow older. Assets increase or decrease.
Estate plans in blended families should be reviewed more frequently than in simpler family structures. What was appropriate five years ago may no longer reflect reality today.
Key takeaway
Blended families require deliberate, thoughtful estate planning. Simple solutions often fail because they do not reflect the complexity of modern relationships or the way the law approaches competing claims.
Careful structuring, realistic expectations and specialist advice are the foundations of estate plans that work in practice, not just on paper.
Related Guides — Wills & Estates Law in NSW
Estate planning for blended families and complex relationships requires careful consideration of how assets are distributed and how different family members are provided for. The following guides explore other important aspects of wills, estate administration, and inheritance law in New South Wales to help you plan effectively.
Speak to a specialist estate lawyer
If you need to prepare wills for a blended family, you’ll need to speak to an estate planning specialist. Our expert solicitors have decades of experience preparing estate plans for blended families. To speak to a blended family lawyer, give us a call or submit an enquiry now.
